Do you have a friend who’s going through a heartbreak? Here’s what to say to a friend going through a breakup to make them feel better.
What do you text to a friend after a breakup?
Here’s what to text your friend who’s going through a breakup to cheer them up.
“I take your breakup seriously and I am here for you.”
Lexi, founder of Lonely Hearts Club says:
Your friend going through a breakup is going to be receiving a lot of solicited and unsolicited advice. Some good and some bad. Overwhelmingly, a lot of messages will be thrown at them that their breakup is not a big deal. This is just how society looks at breakups.
Expressing to your friends that you take their pain seriously and are there for them gives them confidence that they can confide in you and show up in your friendship without the expectation that they need to “move on.”
It’ll be hard for them to stay in the present moment and they will likely try to isolate themselves. If you let them know you are there for them as they exist in their breakup, it gives them permission to be themselves around you.
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“Want to talk about it?”
Sam Holmes from Feel and Thrive says:
Relationships tend to tie us to partners physically, emotionally, and mentally. By letting your friend reflect, vent, and sort through their thoughts and feelings, you’re allowing them to start processing the separation.
You’re also helping them break away from seeing themselves as part of a ‘unit’ and rediscover who they are. And this is where the magic happens. Research calls it self-concept reorganization and it’s the key to truly moving on after a breakup.
“I am proud of you…”
Megan Sherer, holistic therapist and relationship expert says:
One thing to say to a friend going through a breakup that can make a big impact is, “I am proud of you for choosing a future that prioritizes your needs and values.”
This is such a supportive thing to say because it acknowledges that what they are doing (healing and grieving the loss of their partner) is a hard thing to do and you are validating that, while also affirming that it is happening for a purpose.
Whether they were the one to end it or not, breakups always signify an opportunity for us to choose something even more aligned for us on the next go around. Reminding your friend of this can give purpose to the pain and put it into perspective in a really valuable way while empowering them to clarify what their relationship values and standards are.
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“How are you feeling about that? I’m here to listen.”
Nick Bognar, LMFT says:
I think we often jump to a conclusion that someone feels a certain expected way about their breakups. The truth is, a lot of people are sad about breakups, but plenty of other folks are excited, relieved, or happy about their breakup. By making room for how the other person is feeling, we create space for them to rely on us for support and to experience it in their own way.
Sometimes we feel compelled to be mean about the partner, saying things like, “Oh, you’re so much better off without them.” However, your friend might not agree with you, which means they won’t feel comforted or heard by you.
Also, people sometimes get back together with their exes- and if that’s the case, you don’t want to be on the record as having spent an hour discussing what a monster they were after the relationship resumes. I always recommend a kind, but a neutral and exploratory question that allows your friend to tell you about their experience.
Related post: 21 Painful Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him
“I feel so much compassion for what you’re feeling right now.”
Celeste Labadie, LMFT says:
ASK first before you say anything that could be considered advice. Your friend is in a vulnerable place. Their feelings are raw. Their sense of themselves in the world is fragile. Too many people start giving advice and it leads to that friendship suffering because the timing wasn’t right or it was harmful to hear. DO NOT start with “You Should…” Ever.
Try this: “I feel so much compassion for what you’re feeling right now. Would you like me to reflect back on what you’re feeling or just listen without commenting?” You can also start by guessing what they’re feeling: “I’m guessing you’re hurt, sad, frustrated, and confused. Am I close?”
Both of these options will give your friend a sense that you are both present and caring. That’s really all they need. And if they need more from you, you’ve demonstrated that you’re capable of holding space for them.
Most of us will try to give each other what we would need if the roles were reversed. Unfortunately, we often need something different. So tread softly first. If they don’t seem to be able to say what they need, say, “I care deeply about you. I’m here for you and all your feelings.” This is comforting and validating for many of us to hear when we are feeling raw and vulnerable.
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How do you comfort a friend after a break up?
Dating can be hard. You pour your heart and soul into a relationship, only to have it end suddenly. It’s tough to see your friends going through the same thing. So how do you comfort your friend and make them feel better about the situation?
First, you need to understand that your friend is probably feeling a range of emotions: confusion, sadness, anger, and betrayal. They may be tempted to lash out or take their frustration out on others. It’s important to be there for them and offer a shoulder to cry on, but try not to be too pushy. Let them come to you when they’re ready.
Also, avoid saying things that will make them feel worse. No one wants to hear “I told you so” or “It’s for the best.” Even though you may believe these things, they’ll only serve to make your friend feel worse at the moment. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. Help them see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
At the end of the day, what your friend needs when going through a heartbreak is just someone who’s there for her. Someone who can listen and provide support. And most of the time, they don’t need advice. No amount of advice can help them feel better. Only time will heal their wounds.
Related post: Will He Come Back After Leaving? 9 Telltale Signs
Best advice for someone going through a breakup
The best advice for someone going through a breakup is to eat lots of ice cream, cry their eyes out, and then move on. Breakups are hard, but they don’t have to be permanent. Just like any other pain in life, the pain of a breakup will eventually fade away.
And when it does, you’ll be stronger and wiser for it. So don’t be afraid of the grieving process. Eat that pint of ice cream, have that good cry, and then get ready to start your new chapter. Life is too short to dwell on the past.
But seriously though. What has gotten me through the toughest moments in my life has always been the belief that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. And that ‘this too shall pass’
Of course, breakups are BRUTAL! It literally feels like your heart is being ripped into pieces. But trust me (even if you don’t believe it), the pain will subside one day.
Give your friend some space
If your friend is going through a tough time, it’s important to give them space. Let them know that you’re there for them, but don’t be too pushy. They’ll appreciate your respect for their privacy and need for space. In the meantime, try to keep things light and fun. Crack jokes, watch funny movies, and just generally be a good friend. They’ll need your support more than ever during this difficult time.
The last thing you want to do when your friend is going through a breakup is to hover around them constantly. Yes, you want to be there for them and offer support, but sometimes the best thing you can do is give them some space. This way, they can focus on healing and getting over their ex.
Be their supportive bestie : )
Breakups are never easy, but luckily you have a supportive best friend by your side to help you through it. Here are a few ways to be the bestie your friend needs during a breakup:
- Listen to them vent (and provide plenty of snacks).
- Go on break-up revenge shopping sprees with them.
- Help them create a break-up survival kit, complete with all the essentials like wine, chocolate, and their favorite television show binge-watching marathon list.
- Give them pep talks when they’re feeling down and remind them of their own awesomeness.
- Most importantly, be there for them when they need you, whether they just need someone to talk to or someone to go on a crazy night out with. No matter what, let them know that you’re there for them, 100%.