Has he been watching your stories and sending you late-night texts? Here are some signs your ex is testing you and still thinking about you.
Subtle (and not so subtle) signs your ex is testing you
Wondering if your ex is testing you? Here are some subtle but not so subtle signs to look out for:
1. They ‘breadcrumb’ you
Megan, a holistic therapist says:
One of the clearest signs your ex is testing you: they interact with your social media content in really lazy ways. If you find that your ex is watching your stories, responding with the “fire” emoji, or liking the content that you post, but isn’t reaching out to you in any other ways, they are probably testing you. It’s the modern-day equivalent of dropping some bait to see if you’ll bite.
The reality is, they might sincerely miss you and be thinking of you, or even want to get back together, but when the effort is lazy, don’t engage. There was a reason you broke up, and that reason probably hasn’t changed just because they decided to send some emojis your way. It might seem extreme, but I recommend to many of my clients to go completely “no contact” during the healing phase, which means no social media either.
If you need to temporarily block them in order to protect your boundaries, do that. You deserve to heal without them constantly poking at the wound.
2. You’re being manipulated or gaslighted
Mel Williams, a relationship expert says:
Any form of manipulation or gaslighting is a signs your ex is testing you to see how much they can get away with. If your ex attempts to belittle you, make you feel like everything is your fault, or blames you for the reason they keep hurting you then it’s all a sign that they are seeing if you’ll cave in, be a doormat, and let them have their way…all at your expense.
Please understand that any person who ever cared about you would not use harmful means to test whether or not you still care or if you’re a good person. If they are making you feel like the bad guy dodge the bullet by not giving them the time of day. This type of energy feeds off of attention.
Related post: What To Do When He Pulls Away And How To Get Him Back
3. They don’t return your things
Michelle Devani, relationship expert says:
Most of the time, there’s always this one person who can’t let go and still holds onto that hope that you’ll be together again. It’s a strong indicator they’re still interested in you. The longer they stall, the longer you have to wait and chase.
Your ex believes they can postpone the truth by making excuses not to return your belongings hoping for your future together again. It might be irritating, so as much as possible, if you don’t need your belongings and you moved on already, don’t bother asking him or her to return your things so you don’t give them hope.
4. Hot and cold behaviors
They send out mixed signals that confuse and get a reaction from you. They ask how you’re doing, and then they ignore and lurk on your social media. They are curious and want to see how much you’ve changed. Your ex knows you and your triggers; if you react negatively, they may take it as a sign that you are still interested in them. On the other hand, ignoring their behavior can signal that you do not care and cannot be bothered, leaving them to conclude that there is no flame to rekindle.
How do you know if your ex is trying to get your attention?
Breakups are never easy, but it’s important to remember that you’re not the only one struggling to move on. Your ex is probably going through a tough time as well, and it’s possible that they’re looking for ways to get your attention. Here are a few telltale signs that your ex is trying to get your attention:
They ask mutual friends about you.
If you hear from a friend of a friend that your ex has been asking about you, it means they’re still thinking about you and might be hoping for a reconciliation.
They try to contact you directly.
This one is pretty self-explanatory: if your ex is sending you text messages, calling you, or even showing up at your door… yikes!
They start doing things they know you’ll notice.
For example, they know what you like, so they start wearing the clothes that you always complimented them on. They know what you’re interested in, so they start talking more about the things that you’re passionate about. (Whether that’s through social media or in-person)
Why is my ex trying to get a reaction out of me?
Ah, the age-old question. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why your ex is suddenly trying to get a reaction out of you, you’re not alone. It’s a common question, and there are a few possible explanations. Maybe they’re feeling nostalgic and hoping to reignite some old flames.
Or… maybe they’re just trying to get under your skin and get a rise out of you. Whatever the reason, it’s important not to take the bait. Don’t let them see that they’ve gotten to you. Just take a deep breath and move on. There is plenty of fish in the sea, sis!!
Show them that you’re not affected by their games and that you’re doing just fine without them.
How do you know if your ex still cares about you?
If you’re wondering whether your ex still has feelings for you, here are a few signs to look for:
First, see if they reach out to you frequently. If they call or text you often, it’s a good sign that they still care about you.
Second, notice how they talk about you when they’re around other people. If they speak fondly of you, it’s a good indication that they still have positive feelings for you.
Finally, observe how they act when you’re around each other. If they go out of their way to make sure you’re comfortable and happy, it’s likely that they still care about you deeply.
Of course, only your ex knows for sure how they feel, but paying attention to these cues can help give you a better idea of where you stand.
Signs your ex is waiting for you
These signs don’t always 100% mean that your ex is waiting for you and wants to get back together. But they’re a good indication that he might still have feelings for you.
- They like all your social media posts
- They randomly text you
- Your name comes up a lot in conversation
- They show up at places you’re at
- They compliment you
- You keep running into them
- They try to make you jealous
- They want to “still be friends”
Signs your ex regrets dumping you
If you’re wondering if your ex regrets dumping you, here are some signs to look out for:
- Keeps showing up where you are: It could be at your favorite coffee shop, the gym, or even your workplace. Wherever you are, they seem to be there too.
- Staying in touch with your friends and family: It’s not just small talk either. They actually seem interested in what’s going on in your life and want to know all the details.
- Always has an excuse to bump into you: “I was just in the neighborhood” or “I was just thinking about you” are common phrases coming from your ex these days.
- Trying to make you jealous by flirting with other people in front of you.
- Goes out of their way to do nice things for you: Whether it’s bringing you coffee when they know you’ve had a long day or picking up your favorite dessert.
Is your ex testing you?
Hopefully, after reading these signs your ex is testing you, you’re able to have a better idea of whether or not he’s doing it to you. If he is (and you don’t want to rekindle the relationship), try to stop all communication with him. I know it’s hard, but it’ll allow you to get over him faster and find the true love you deserve.