You’ve been holding your phone in your hand for over an hour, wondering, “Should I text him first?” Well, should you?
Should I text him first? Here’s when you shouldn’t
Usually, I won’t tell my girlfriends to not text a guy if they really want to. But here are some rare exceptions where I might really advice against texting the guy.
1. He left you on read multiple times
Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. You’re texting someone you’re interested in and they leave you on read multiple times. Maybe they’re busy, maybe they’re not interested, or maybe they just don’t know how to text. Whatever the reason, it hurts.
But before you start frantically typing out a novel trying to get their attention, take a step back and think about what you’re doing. If they left you on read multiple times, chances are they’re not that interested. So why waste your time texting them first?
Just let them text you first and if they don’t, move on and find someone who will appreciate your interest. There’s no point in chasing someone who isn’t interested. Life is too short for games. Just relax, let them text you first, and see what happens.
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2. You don’t have anything to say
We’ve all been there before- we see a cute guy and we can’t help but start texting him. But sometimes, we don’t really have anything to say. We just want attention. Maybe we’re bored, or maybe we’re just hoping that he’ll text us first. But resist the temptation! If you don’t have anything to say, don’t text him first. Chances are, he’s not going to be very interested in having a one-sided conversation.
3. If you were the one to set up the last date
We’ve all been there: you’re texting back and forth with a guy you’re interested in and suddenly, the conversation fizzles out. You start to wonder if maybe you said something wrong, or if he’s just not that into you. Then, you remember that you were the one who set up the last date. Oops!
Just because you’re interested in someone doesn’t mean you should always be the one to make the first move. If you want to keep things fun and casual, it’s important to let the guy take the lead sometimes.
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4. You’re drunk
You’ve had a few too many drinks and you start to feel those fingers getting heavy on the keyboard. Suddenly, your phone is filled with Typos and you’re sending texts to your crush that are guaranteed to make you cringe in the morning. But before you hit send, take a step back and think about what you’re doing.
If you’re sober, it’s probably not a big deal to text him first. But if you’re drunk, it’s a whole different story. For one thing, you’re more likely to say something you’ll regret later on. And even if you don’t say anything embarrassing, your texts will probably be sloppier and less coherent than usual. So save yourself the trouble and don’t text him when you’re drunk. Your future self will thank you for it.
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When you should text him first
So, when should you text him first? Well, here are some scenarios where it might make the most sense!
1. You just had an amazing date
So you had an AMAZING date with the new guy you met on Bumble. He was charming, funny, and talked about all the things you love. Now you want to thank him for a great time… but should you text him first, or play it cool?
My advice: go ahead and text him! Not only will it show that you had a good time, but it will also help keep the conversation going. Plus, who doesn’t love getting a nice text from a crush? So go ahead and shoot him a quick message saying thanks for a great date.
2. If you’re genuinely curious about what he’s up to
So you’re wondering whether or not you should text him first. And, honestly, that’s a valid concern. I mean, what if he’s busy and you’re just bugging him? Or what if he doesn’t text you back? Well, here’s the thing: if you’re genuinely curious about what he’s up to, then you should go ahead and text him.
The worst that could happen is that he won’t text you back. But, hey, at least you tried. And who knows? Maybe he’ll be flattered that you took the initiative to reach out. So go ahead and take a chance. The worst thing that could happen is that he won’t text you back…but the best thing is that he will.
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3. You know he’s super into you
If you know he’s super into you, text him first. It’s the only way to be sure he’s as into you as you are into him. If you don’t text him first, there’s a chance he’ll think you’re not that interested. And who wants to be with someone who isn’t as interested in them as they are in the other person?
So, if you know he’s super into you, take the initiative and text him first. He’ll be glad you did. And, chances are, he’ll text you back right away.
4. You haven’t heard from him in a while
If you’ve been waiting for a guy to text you and he’s taking too long, then you should text him first. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? He could ignore you. Or, he could text you back right away and you’ll feel silly for not just texting him in the first place. So go ahead and break the ice. Text him first and see what happens!
Do guys like to be texted first?
It’s the age-old question: do guys like to be texted first? And, of course, the answer is yes… but with a few caveats. If he’s into you, then he’s definitely going to appreciate getting a text from you first thing in the morning. But if you’re not sure where things stand, it might be best to hold off on sending that first “good morning” text. Otherwise, you might startle him with your eagerness and blow your chances entirely.
Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule. If he’s the type of guy who loves getting notifications on his phone, then he’ll probably be pretty thrilled to see a text from you waiting for him when he wakes up. But if you’re not sure, it’s better to play it safe and let him make the first move.
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Does it matter if you text first?
Every relationship expert has a different opinion on this. Some say that women should NEVER in a million years initiate or pursue a man. While some relationship experts are like, “Heck yea! DO YOU! If you want him, go get him!“
So does it matter if you text first? Well, there’s not a definite answer honestly (even though I personally don’t think it matters at all)
My life philosophy is. If you want to do something, do it! As long as it’s not hurting anyone. Don’t take life too seriously and analyze every move you make in the dating stage. It’s soooo tiring and mentally draining!
If a guy is really interested in you, he’s not going to be scared off when you text him first. He’s going to love it!
Is he waiting for me to text him first?
“Why hasn’t he reached out yet? Surely he’s not playing hard to get, is he? I don’t want to seem too eager, but at the same time, I don’t want to miss my chance. Ugh, this is so frustrating. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens.”
Yea, we’ve all been there before. Tossing and turning in bed wondering if he’s waiting for you to text him.
The truth is. No matter how long you think about this question, you’ll never get an answer unless you ask. LOL! We can’t read minds! Maybe he IS waiting for you to text him, and maybe he ISN’T. We’ll never know.
But life is too short. If you want to text him, text him! It’s really not as complicated as we make it seem.
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Should I text him first after a date?
You had a great time on your first date and things went smoother than you thought. So, should you text him first after that amazing date? Here’s a piece of advice: go ahead and text him first. No, it’s not going to make you seem desperate and clingy. If he’s into you, he’ll be glad to hear from you!
And if he’s not, then you probably wouldn’t want to hear from him anyway. So there’s nothing to lose by taking the initiative and sending that first post-date text. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even get a date number two out of it.
In the text, simply say, “I had a great time today, thank you (heart emoji)” That’s it! Let him do the rest of the pursuing.
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Should I text him first after no contact?
No contact can be a tough decision to make, especially when you still have feelings for the other person. But sometimes it’s necessary in order to move on. So, if you’ve decided to go the no-contact route, what do you do if you start thinking about the other person again? Should you text them first? Well, that all depends on why you originally decided to go no contact in the first place.
If it was because you needed some time to figure things out or sort through your feelings, then texting them right away might not be the best idea. You don’t want to give off the impression that you’ve already forgotten about the no-contact agreement.
But if you originally decided to go no contact because there was some kind of problem in the relationship, then texting them first could be a good way to start repairing things. It shows that you’re willing to take the first step toward fixing things.
At the end of the day, it’s up entirely up to you to decide whether or not to text first after no contact. But whatever you do, make sure it’s for the right reasons and not out of desperation!
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I think we sometimes make dating too complicated. There really shouldn’t be strict rules on who should text first or when’s the perfect time to text the other person. Do you what you feel like would be best for your situation!
If you want to text him, text him! Just make sure you aren’t doing so out of desperation or a low vibration. And you’ll be good! As long you’re both having a good time and enjoying each other’s company, that’s all that matters. You shouldn’t let other people’s opinion dictate what you decide to do with your relationship. Amiright?