This post includes 3 harsh facts long distance relationships you need to know (actually, more than 3!)
There are many reasons why people might find themselves in a long-distance relationship. Perhaps you and your partner live in different states, countries, or even continents. Maybe one of you is deployed or stationed far away from home. Or it could be that for some other reason you’re unable to physically be together on a regular basis.
Whatever the reason, being in a long-distance relationship can be difficult. You often have to make do with limited time together, and when you are finally able to see each other, it can be hard not to spend all your time catching up on everything that’s been missed.
Long-distance is never easy, and God bless you if you’re currently in one, lol! I’ve been there, done that, and honestly, it’s not for me. So below, I’ve listed 3 harsh facts long distance relationships (and more) so that you can be prepared!
Related post: How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him Over Text
What kills long distance relationships?
There are a number of harsh realities that can kill a long distance relationship. For one, the physical separation can be difficult to overcome. When you’re not able to see your partner face-to-face on a regular basis, it’s easy for doubts and fears to start creeping in.
In addition, the lack of day-to-day interaction can make it hard to build strong emotional bonds with your partner. Without that essential connection, it becomes harder and harder to keep the relationship going. And finally, there is always the risk that one or both partners may get bored or frustrated with the arrangement and decide to call it quits.
What’s the hardest thing about long distance relationships?
The hardest thing about long distance relationships is the physical separation. When you’re in the same place as your partner, you can touch them, hug them, and kiss them. You can see their facial expressions and body language, which tells you volumes about how they’re feeling.
When you’re apart, all of that is gone. You have to rely on phone calls, texts, and emails to try to understand what’s going on in your partner’s life. And even then, it’s not always easy to interpret their words correctly.
If you’re quite insecure (like me, lol) you know how difficult it is for you to not overthink and worry about whether your partner is cheating. Ugh! It’s hard.
3 Harsh facts long distance relationships
Long distance relationships are never easy. In fact, they can be downright brutal at times. Here are three harsh facts about long distance relationships that you should know before getting into one.
Harsh Fact #1: Being separated for long periods of time can cause you to lose the closeness that you once shared.
Living apart from your partner and not being able to physically be with them on a daily basis can strain your relationship and cause you to lose that sense of closeness that was once there. You may not feel as close to each other because you’re not sharing physical intimacy, which is a huge part of any relationship.
Harsh Fact #2: There is a higher chance for infidelity when in a long distance relationship.
When separated from your significant other, it’s human nature to seek that connection with someone else. You may be tempted to cheat on your partner or to get into a relationship with someone else while you’re apart. While having feelings for someone other than your significant other is not necessarily cheating, it can cause major problems within the relationship and may tear it apart.
Harsh Fact #3: You need to be okay living alone even when you’re in a relationship.
Long distance relationships are hard enough by themselves, but they’re even more difficult if you’re used to having your partner there with you at all times. You may miss them terribly and not want to be alone, which is normal. However, the temptation of jumping into a new relationship or getting into an intimate situation with someone else can cause problems that will hurt your long distance relationship.
More brutal truths you need to know
While there are many benefits to a long-distance relationship, there are also some harsh realities that come with it. Here are five other important ones to be aware of.
1. You can’t make a long-distance relationship work without having something else going for you as well.
If you’re in college, you shouldn’t expect your partner back home to wait around while you focus on your studies. If you’re in the military, you shouldn’t expect to focus all your attention on building the relationship until you get home for good. The lack of physical presence makes long distance relationships easier in some ways and harder in others, but it certainly doesn’t make them stand-alone entities.
2. The fights in a long distance relationship absolutely will not be the same.
There is no significant physical contact, and it’s easy to misinterpret a mood or tone without the benefit of body language. Phone calls and online conversations can become much more aggressive as a result, because it feels like there is less at stake when you’re not actually right next to the other person. It’s important to remember this before picking up your phone, but also try to minimize aggressive behavior by avoiding it in the first place.
3. You can’t trust yourself to pick up on subtle cues, so you need to be direct about what’s on your mind.
It’s common for people who are lonely or unhappy with their situation to become overly attached, clingy and even desperate when they’re not around another person all the time. While it may be tempting to use emotional manipulation on a partner who is less than a phone call away, this will often lead to more problems if you can’t express yourself fully and honestly. Don’t lie about what’s going on with you, but try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship as well instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
4. The physical distance makes you more likely to fantasize about alternative romantic prospects.
When you’re not around someone, it’s easy to imagine them with somebody else – especially if they are the only person on your mind all day long. You might start thinking of past or current exes as potential romantic partners even though there is no reason to do so. You might also think of other possibilities in your life, like doing something adventurous or pursuing a career path that makes you happy, because it seems easier when there are fewer restrictions on your time.
5. It’s incredibly easy to slip into the trap of thinking the grass is greener on the other side.
If you have nothing to do all day long, it’s hard to stay content with the person you’re currently seeing. Instead, your mind will wander back to the days when you were dating someone new. You may even start comparing this current partner unfavorably to past romantic interests who seem much more appealing in retrospect. Sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side, but only because your current situation is too empty for you to be happy.
When to let go of a long distance relationship
When to let go of a long-distance relationship? It’s a question that many people find themselves asking at one time or another. And for good reason – maintaining a long-distance relationship can be difficult, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. So when is the right time to call it quits? There is no easy answer, but there are some factors you should consider.
First, ask yourself how much effort you’re both putting into the relationship. Are you making an effort to talk regularly, see each other whenever possible, and keep the lines of communication open? If not, then your relationship is likely headed for trouble.
Second, consider your reasons for wanting to end the relationship. Are you simply feeling lonely, are you tired of your partner’s excuses, or being left out of major life decisions? Or are you worried that the relationship is preventing you from meeting people who can offer a more traditional romantic partnership? If so, then it may be time to re-evaluate what your expectations are. If those expectations aren’t realistic given your circumstances, then maybe it’s time to let go before anyone gets hurt.
Lastly, ask yourself if you actually see a future with your significant other? If not, then there really is no reason for you to keep dragging out this relationship if you don’t see a life with him or her in the future. I know it’s hard to let go, but you’ll eventually have to do it, and it’s probably the best decision for the both of you.
How to deal with long distance relationship depression?
Depression is a common problem in long-distance relationships. It can be caused by the stress of being apart, by feeling lonely or neglected, or by any number of other factors. However, there are ways to deal with depression and keep your relationship strong.
First, it is important to understand what is causing your depression. Once you know the source of your unhappiness, you can begin to address it. If you are feeling neglected or lonely, make an effort to stay in touch with your partner as often as possible. Send emails, text messages, or pictures; talk on the phone; or even video chat if possible.
If you are feeling stressed out about being apart, try to find ways to relax and de-stress. Take a hot bath, go for a run, or practice yoga. Take your mind off of your problems by watching a movie with friends or going out to eat. Find ways to have fun and relax without your partner.
Finally, remember why you are in a long-distance relationship in the first place. Remind yourself that it is temporary and worth the wait; Most importantly, never forget the things you like about yourself and your relationship.
You got this!
I know this “3 harsh facts long distance relationships” post is quite difficult to read and talk about. But by being aware of the harsh truths, you’ll know what to realistically expect in your relationship and understand how to maintain it.
Wishing you the best and hope that you get to see your significant other very soon :）